It's still swinging

I'm listening to a sappy Neil Diamond song. Totally random, my mix, that is, of all 3678 songs in my iTunes. But Neil Diamond is singing, "you are the best part of me...the part that allows me to open my heart and let love inside." But I'm not skipping forward, because something resonates. How difficult this is. Truly. There's something very interesting about being 30 and single...something very wonderful, very liberating...a chance to explore and experience and learn and grow deeper into who I am before bringing somebody else into the equation. Something my Mom never got to do. Something most of the women of my mother's generation didn't get to do. We have choices, we have fewer social expectations, fewer constraints. We have the world open before us. Hmmm. And with this lack of constraints and finger-wagging, we also have tougher decisions to make. Nobody's going to make them for us....or tell us what to do. And then there's the "independent woman" defense. There's the comfort of having created and settled into a certain life, a life that can easily feel under seige by somebody who comes along and wants to be a part of it. And perhaps make some renovations. So it is increasingly difficult to open the heart and let love inside. As I've come to realize. Until somebody comes along and gently pries the door open, takes his time walking through, but won't allow you to slam it in his face either. Even when you try. And thank goodness for this.