For a moment

The strangest things touch us sometimes in the most unexpected ways. And then we find ourselves doing something with passion or excitement or sadness or reflection--and it was never even on the radar when we woke up and thought about our day.

I woke up this morning with the intention to research what it will take to get my teaching certification for French. I pulled out all my transcripts last night and found myself paging through the binder that has contained my life's most important documents since I've lived outside of the USA. For five and a half years now, that blue binder (American size, which the A4 documents from every other part of the world stick out of the top of, but I never bothered to buy a larger binder) has contained my passport, my birth certificate (yes, original), my diplomas (yes, originals), my university transcripts (now from 6 different schools), my carte de séjours, my residence permits, my work visas, my health insurance documents, my letters of recommendation, my French language exam certificates, copies of all credit cards, drivers' licenses, library cards, student IDs, apartment lease agreements, utility bills (needed for every transaction in France), police background checks, and even my fingerprints and contact lense perscriptions. It's all there. I felt emotional and strange paging through those documents last night, and so I left them to this morning. Because, as I prepare for another step forward, I have to reorganize all of the above, so that I can fit them into a nice picture that sums up my "experience" abroad, over the past (nearly) 6 years.

But then I read an op-ed piece in the New York Times. A woman who wrote about being 50-something and having long hair. And how she's tired of people finding myriad reasons to criticize her for her decision NOT to cut her hair, as most middle-aged American women do. And she said that in Europe the same wouldn't be true. And she said that maybe she should move to Paris. Which, of course, got me thinking of Paris. Middle-aged women with long hair and Paris got me thinking about Joni Mitchell. And her song, "California." About leaving Paris, where it's "old and gray and settled in its ways" and going home to California. And when I got to the end of the opinion piece, I saw that this woman writer has a blog, called SlowLoveLife.com (yes, check it out), which I went to. Instead of removing herself from life's chaos through meditation or going to an ashram, she has opened herself to moving through life more slowly, taking in all that is beautiful and interesting and worth appreciating. And violà. I was inspired to return to my blog. And when I did, I found that I was 14 months past my last post.

I like my last post (Aug. 29th? 2009). My first impressions of life in the Gulf. How far my impressions have come since then. I feel a little sad that I haven't written about the between-time. But that's okay. I was living life and keeping up and enjoying myself. But I do sense that something is missing...and that's the creative side of me that loves to write, reflect, write. So this morning, I decided to write instead of research. My binder and all its contents are still spread out all over the couch and coffee table in front of me. A reminder of what's next. But I'm happy to have stopped for a moment and did something that I truly appreciate.